2:57 P.M.
The moment I, uninvited, presented myself to a government funded graduate scholarship screening committee made a major tweak in my life. I wanted the scholarship but I was not included in the list of interviewees. Out of desperation I went to the screening, all shame put aside. And yes! I got it. I was awarded the scholarship and off to grad school I go. Not to get easy with life but to work hard to make myself worthy of what was given to me.
I am trying to embrace the new life I am having right now. I have to live it, otherwise I have to pay back 3M to those who sent me here.
What does this life mean?
- trying out a geeky life (oh! You should hear my new friends talk and joke about things! Math is everywhere! Do you know that my brain is as the size of the integral along a closed rectifiable curve?
- read read read! ( I used to convince my friends that reading is fun! I even picked books for them to enjoy. My month was never complete without a good pick to read on. But now? It’s my hour that never gets completed without a reading done. None are my picks and they make me sleep!!!! What is a steady-state system again? Oh, wait! I’ll get the paper!)
- needing glasses (my new life makes me avoid but miss my contact lens. Yet it also makes me appreciate my eye glasses – to cover up the eyebags!) cutting off the social life (the days run so fast and i never noticed that my week has come to its end but a long list of problem sets are still waiting to be done. I started reading on a paper last Monday. Today is Sunday and I am still on the introduction! Time must be picking on me…)
- learning to laugh at my mistakes (we were coding something in class. When my prof approved of my results some of my classmates copied it. But one wasn’t able to get it right (since our results did not match). I told our prof that my classmate couldn’t get it right. And oh my! It was my classmate who got the coding right and mine was the buggy one all along! hihihi.)
- completing all programs aired on tv from 10 am till sign off (when I am so pressured to accomplish a long list of problem sets yet the pressure is not enough to keep me up, I run to the tv to have something to keep me company. But I realized that even the tv has given up on me. All stations have signed off already but my problem sets? I don't think they'll ever sign off!:( )
- no talking (when I am too focused on a problem set and too pressured because i need to pass it in an hour, all the world is lost. I realized that I am able to sense nothing, see nothing and hear nothing. I didn’t even noticed that my roommate has come home and was already talking to me and ranting bout her day)
- ice creaming (when the pressure becomes so hard to handle it is always nice to stop for an ice cream for awhile. I always call for a delivery of chocolate sundae)
- paying for an overdue of unread books (when it’s a high time for deadlines and the library has only one copy of a certain book I couldn’t fight the urge to hoard it. I rent it for a month even if I am not reading it yet, for fear that someone might get it first)
- lovin’ nonsense(sometimes when everything becomes too math-ish and its getting me tired already, watching a very light movie or hearing a a very corny joke is relaxing. Time really comes when I need to grab an hour or two away from thinking)
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